Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
