I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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