In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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