Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My balls are so social today.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
