He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize