I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
