Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
