when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No subtext here. People are naked.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
