i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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