you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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