AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
