I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
