Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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