mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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