I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
