Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize