Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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