I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize