we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
