i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
