She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
