You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize