Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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