If that was your dad, he is hot
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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