lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
