ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
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The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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