need another drink. this is the easiest way
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
