Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
