I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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