uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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