i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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