God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
