The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
