5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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