I wish I could teleport
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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