theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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