we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
