like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
