Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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