Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
