u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
