that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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