I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
