You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
