help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
