I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
