Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
