You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.