So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit