Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going