Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?