He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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