Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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