Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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