Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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