"it" just moved
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
