loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
