Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
