it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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