Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
