Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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