yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
