Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like a drive thru vagina
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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