Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
