It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
