It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
